The tip of the iceberg – a revelation, and a potted history.

I discovered my autism late, very late. To call it profoundly transformational, would be an understatement. Essentially, I have lived my whole life thinking I was 'normal'... that everyone else dealt with the things I dealt with, yet I stood alone as a complete failure for my inability to cope, and my inability to seamlessly…

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Another ‘facepalm’ moment

I'm figuring so many things out now. It really is like I've been programmed to a different planet, but landed on this one I was in the chemists a few weeks ago - pre-epiphany- and was trying to discuss something with the lady behind the counter. There was a customer to the right of me,…

“Why do you want a label?”

I don't. Not particularly. But I never wanted "Unbelievable" "Rude" "Anti-social" "Intolerant" "Angry" "Emotional" "Unreasonable" "Aggressive" "Weird" "Bossy" "Selfish" "Inconsiderate" as labels, either. I'm sure I have been all of these things quite legitimately at various points in my life. But of all these descriptors, 'emotional' is the only one which accurately describes me as…

Ponderings

More than a month on from epiphany, and I think I’m finally starting to work through the grief. I never anticipated feeling this way. The only emotions I felt at first were indescribable relief and elation. Things have been so erratic, and I'm getting irritated with myself for not doing the ’stiff upper lip’/‘best foot…

I am hurt and I am hope. Reflections on a life lived undiagnosed #ActuallyAutistic.

Before 22/10/18, I never thought I’d hear of another living soul who shared my experience of life. Since 22/10/18, I have read so many accounts which could have been my own.
I may be no longer alone, but it’s devastating to have so much company 😥

Behind the Glass

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I am what you see and what you don’t see.
I am a mixture of who I was born as and what I’ve experienced.

As I read more and more accounts from adult women, like me, who’ve lived their whole lives never knowing they had Autism / Asperger’s until recently and of the toll that has taken on their (our) lives I am sad.

I am sad because a lot of them had a similar experience to me. I am sad because a lot of my life I have hurt. It grieves me that others have felt as bad as I have, and for something that was not of our own doing. Given the choice to live this life or to pass, I would have taken the pass.

Some of the initial words we use to describe this is that we never fit in, we felt different, we were ostracized…

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A huge hurdle :(

I've been doing a lot of reading on Quora over the last 4 or 5 weeks. There is some great information out there, but Quora also showcases a depressing degree of ignorance and inflexibility.  Much of the content is a cause for dismay for one particularly prominent reason - it illustrates a pervasive, dismissive attitude,…